Trauma Therapy

If you have been coping with past experiences by pushing them out of your awareness it is frightening to face up to them. So therapy goes slowly. During trauma a person’s control is reduced. So therapy aims to keep you in control by giving you choices at every stage - what we talk about, how and when. At every stage we will try to avoid re-triggering the trauma. It may never be necessary to describe the traumatic experiences themselves. Therapy for trauma can be a long road if the mechanisms of self-protection have become inscribed in your nervous system .

Everyone is different but therapists think about 3 phases:

1. Learning the patterns of your nervous system. Co-regulation.

Aim: to develop skills of self-calming that you can use in any situation.

When we re-live a traumatic experience the survival parts of our nervous system take over (hyper-alert, fight, flight, shut down). Our thinking goes off line while we respond to the perceived danger. In therapy you learn to recognise the states and we find a remedy that works for you, for each state.

Humans learn to self-regulate through repeated experiences of co-regulation with a calm person. I provide that calmness in sessions, through my presence, my listening and the co-regulation exercises we do together. At first I will lead the exercises and you practice between sessions. As you become more confident, we take turns.

When you can regulate your nervous system, even in stressful situations, you can enjoy life a lot more. I won’t move past stage 1 till you have solid skills of self-regulation. Sometimes people find they don’t need to go any further.

2. Re-allocating responsibility

Aim: to place responsibility where it belongs. To step out of over-responsibility.

Responsibility for abuse can become inscribed on a person’s way of being. In situations where you need to survive/endure this means you preserve a basic belief in your ability to influence the world. But living with over-responsibility is debilitating. It takes resources to carry such a burden and enjoying life it taken away. In this stage we place the responsibility where it belongs.

There can be sudden realisation where this stage happens all on its own. It may not be necessary to describe the experiences in detail, but re-allocating responsibility will involve at least naming them.

3. Re-orientating

Aim: to explore your own meanings and purposes.

You had to structure your life to cope with trauma and its after effects. However, you needed skills to a level in advance of many people. For example you may be good at sensing who cannot be trusted. Or your assessment of risk may have been blunted. This stage involves taking credit for your skills. It may involve finding a new ability to protect yourself from ordinary levels of risk in skillful ways, rather than over-reacting.

With the troubling effects of trauma fading into the background you may find sadness for all you have suffered. You may find you don’t know who you are. “Now that nightmare is over, what should my life be about?” Therapy supports you as you explore new values and purposes for your life.