Safety
All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone
- Pascal
Try sitting alone, in a quite place, with nothing to do… How long can you be happy? How safe do you feel? Are you in safe hands?
People find it surprisingly hard.
In 11 studies, we found that participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think, that they enjoyed doing mundane external activities much more, and that many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts. Most people seem to prefer to be doing something rather than nothing, even if that something is negative.
Finding peace in ourselves is the key to thriving.
You can do exercises on your own using self talk . However, when a sense of safety is out or reach because you are recovering from adverse experiences you will need another person’s help, using co-regulation . In therapy I teach methods of self-calming. As your skills improve you will have a way of relating to yourself based on acceptance and kindness.